Pregnancy

Today, I am 101 days from my due date.  In two days, I will finally be out of the triple digits and have only 99 days to go.  I swear there are days when I feel like I've been pregnant for a million years and I have a million years left to go, but on other days I feel like it was just yesterday when I dropped the bomb on Bill during a financial conversation that I was pretty sure I was pregnant.  The look on his face was priceless.

Unlike previous experiences, I've been trying hard NOT to complain about this pregnancy.  Yes, my hips hurt.  Yes, I puked like a maniac for over four months and lost over 20lbs because of it.  Yes, my boobs hurt like hell (yes, I went there!), and yes, I pee every six minutes.

But I've lost so many pregnancies that the fact that I'm sitting here at 25 weeks and 4 days feeling my little girl bumping around inside of me seems like such a miracle that none of the frustrating little discomforts seem as important as the fact that I have been able to get to a point where survival is a possibility for her.

And because of this gratitude, I decided to write a blog about all the parts of pregnancy that I love.

• I loved the look on Bill's face when I told him we were pregnant.  Again.

• I loved the way Jakob reacted when we told him he was going to have another sibling (he wants at least six)
• I love that first ultrasound where I was so terrified to look at the screen because I was horrified of reliving past experiences, but instead of three little malformed clumps of cells, I saw one teensy little smudge with a flickflickflicker heartbeat right in the center.

• I loved feeling her first teensy little fluttery movements

• I loved the anticipation of finding out whether we were having a girl or a boy.  Bill had the day off work and we took both boys with us.  The tech made us wait until the very end of the ultrasound before finally telling us what we were having.  When he asked me if I saw 'those three little white lines there' I immediately started crying.  I've wanted a daughter so badly for so long that finding out it really was a girl was a totally overwhelming moment for me.  Plus, the fact that Jakob was so happy (he's always wanted a sister) he was in tears made me cry even more.

• I am currently loving the feeling of her big girl kicks that make my entire belly jump around.  Something about being out and about while she's moving is a total thrill to me.  Nobody else knows she's moving, it's like a little secret between her and I.

• My boobs.  Yes, I said it.  Now that I'm not having those awful knifing pains from the first few months, I can appreciate the fact that they look awesome.  Yes indeedy they do, just ask my husband.  He'll tell you AAAAAAAAAAALL about it.  It's the closest I'll ever come to having fake boobs, and it's pretty awesome.

• I adored seeing Jericho and Jakob holding their brand new baby cousin Sophia.  I know that technically that has nothing to do with my pregnancy, but seeing how gentle they were, especially Jericho, totally melted my heart.  Jakob has already proven what an excellent big brother he will be, but Jericho has had me pretty nervous.  But he held Sophia so tenderly and so reverently it really soothed a lot of my fears.

• One of my favorite parts is that Jericho will move my shirt out of the way so that he can shine the light from his glow worm into my belly button so that his baby sister has some light in my tummy.  He does the same thing with musical toys, he likes her to listen to them through my belly button.  

• Maternity clothes.  Yes, I do indeed love maternity clothes.  Not just because they have gotten wickedly stylish since my first pregnancy, but because I can get away with wearing yoga pants pretty much every single day and nobody ever thinks twice about because HEY, I'm pregnant :) Plus, Gap Maternity has some insanely comfortable clothing that is basic enough that if I ever have more babies, I won't feel a million years out of style in them.

There are so many more reasons I can think of, but the bottom line is that I'm well aware of the fact that this could be my last pregnancy, so it's a whole lot easier to treasure every single moment of it instead of wishing it away as quickly as possible.  As much as I want to meet her, I want her to cook away for as long as she needs before she makes an appearance.  For her benefit, but really, for mine too.